So this week-end, Thumper was with DH on a camping trip and it was just me and BamBam hanging out, watching movies, reading, cooking, doing a little shopping, a little laundry
OK...a LOT of laundry
And wonders of all wonders, during all this I actually managed to scrapbook
yeah I know
I need smelling salts for myself.
it's been a LONG time. Over a year.
I did it...but it was painful.
I couldn't find my groove or my voice. So I finally stuck them in the binder and thought.."the hell with it...they're done."
THEN
Thumper came home and looked at my pages, I could tell he was a little disappointed.
I didn't want to push, but later on snuggled in bed, I asked him what was up
And he told me
"Mom...where are the words? The pages are really empty. And where is the the fun? Did you get out your art supplies?"
yikes
"Well no honey, mommy was just trying to get the pages done"
And as soon as those words floated out of my mouth I busted myself.
Yes. The pages were in a book. Done. Scrapped, Finito.
But there was no joy in the process.
And really, if there is no joy in the process...what's the point? For me at least.
And I'm not making a commentary about anyone but ME here.
Lack of joy was what was dragging me down I was just slapping photos on paper and adding a few embellishments and a squiggle of writing with names/dates
THAT is not me. I am FULL of it. Literally.
Full of words and thoughts and ideas and color and messiness. And that all comes spilling out onto and filling up the pages I love the best.
There was nothing of me on those pages. Nothing.
Nothing of what I thought or felt about the people I loved (in writing) and the crazy way I try to capture those memories (in my weird quirky use of paint and stamps and/or whatever medium I can get my hand on)
And I realized.
I'd rather have my kids be able to look back, on just a FEW pages a year.
something with my words, MOST importantly my words, and my art that was honest and true.
than 50 pages of
"Here you are: in your football uniform/first day of school/opening presents"
I am the antithesis of "Get er' done"
Lesson learned.
My kids are my biggest fans and my most honest critics.
And I need to be true to what inspires me...in everything.
6 comments:
so true, Lisa
your way with words and the fun you have experimenting with art is what makes your pages shine!
glad to hear you are scrapping again
woot!
don't kids say the
darn'dest things?
you do have the gift
of quirk (quite delightfuly, I might add). I love the quality
of your written style, the way
you play with your words - reminds me of the way kids stir and stir and stir their ice cream until it's smooth and smoooooshy.
Word.
You have it.
And you use it brilliantly.
Cool kids you have.
Awwww!! I love reading your words, you have such a way with them!! :)
i'm glad you scrapped.
i'm glad you realized it's better to enjoy....to feel the process than just 'get 'em done'. you know i have to 'feel' a page or it just doesn't happen. sometimes it's hard to enjoy the process because we get caught up in this and that....in everything...instead of just letting ourselves be....letting it happen...enjoying the creation (and not expecting perfection). you know i could go on about this particular topic...lol...but this is YOUR blog, not mine! lol...
some day i'd like to see some pages. whenever you feel like you have something you want to share. one of the best parts of scrapping? sharing...enjoying other peoples' styles....and supporting each other. end of sermon.
Lisa those were such powerful words..Made me think.
Gald your scrapping. Hope you find yourself more in the process/product on your next page.
Your writing is poetic...love the way you have with words..you go girl!
Wow Lisa, I so needed to hear that. Thanks!
Post a Comment