random affirmations in the past week
from BamBam
"Mommy. You should have your own cooking show on Food Network. Really. You are funny and you know how to talk in front of people and you can REALLY cook good. So can't you send in a tape or something?"
from Thumper
"Mommy...PLEEEEEEEEEEZ enter 'Who Wants to be a Milionaire' I mean come ON...you get all the way to the 50 thousand question EVERY time without using ANY lifelines. Man.... 50 thousands bucks....we could SO get a flat screen TV!!!"
from my oldest friend
"Duh. It's called a gift. What are you awiting for?"
I don't know. What am I waiting for?
People I love? I guess they see things in me that obviously I can not. Or don't want to because I like the status quo. Or just maybe my significant others in life are watching WAY too much TV!
Me? I like safe. familiar. steady. constant.
So do I hold on
or let go
Do
or not do
Where the hell is Yoda when you need him???!!!
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Last Minute #$%^
CRAP
I need to be:
1) Packing. I have a suitcase. I have clean clothes. But I do not have a game plan for what I am to wear over the next three days, ERGO..I do not have a packed suitcase. Nor do my children for that matter. This surprises you???
2) Finishing up my mom's birthday present, ie pages for her mini "ode to the wonderfulness that is my mom" scrapbook album.
Have I mentioned or has anyone noticed that I don't do that all so much anymore??? If you look closely you can see the tendrils of smoke coming out of my ears as I attempt to engage my creative gears.
3) Coloring my hair. I haven't seen my brother in almost three years. These are NOT random observations or comments. I love him mightily, but I would like to give him one less point of discussion in the ole sibling rivaly game.
Okay I really, really, really am outta here
to do
1,2,3
3,2,1
2,3,1
YOu guess...which order did I go for????
No worries or prejudging...I have no freakin clue myself!
I need to be:
1) Packing. I have a suitcase. I have clean clothes. But I do not have a game plan for what I am to wear over the next three days, ERGO..I do not have a packed suitcase. Nor do my children for that matter. This surprises you???
2) Finishing up my mom's birthday present, ie pages for her mini "ode to the wonderfulness that is my mom" scrapbook album.
Have I mentioned or has anyone noticed that I don't do that all so much anymore??? If you look closely you can see the tendrils of smoke coming out of my ears as I attempt to engage my creative gears.
3) Coloring my hair. I haven't seen my brother in almost three years. These are NOT random observations or comments. I love him mightily, but I would like to give him one less point of discussion in the ole sibling rivaly game.
Okay I really, really, really am outta here
to do
1,2,3
3,2,1
2,3,1
YOu guess...which order did I go for????
No worries or prejudging...I have no freakin clue myself!
Monday, November 19, 2007
20 years and counting
Married 20 years in June. No wait, I already bloooooged about that...so what could the random blogging queen be talking about now you may wonder? Or not, but I'm GOING to tell you anyway!
Last Thursday I celebrated 20 years with my firm. Yep. Boggles my mind. They're having a PAHTAY for me this afternoon! The boss gave me some champers last week which I shared with my girlies at my supper swap...WEEHOO! Oh and a parking spot. I'm supposed to get a designated parking spot. SWEET...I can actually DRIVE to some neat places for lunch and not be relegated to the "LOSER" lot offsite!
People are alternately amazed or puzzled. What can I say? I'm a loyal person. You treat me right, I'll work my ass off for you. Obviously they did and I did, so we did and here we are 20 years later.
ON to another topic.
Shopping
Yes, I did that ALL day on Saturday. Let me first recommend that if you are going to be shopping all day at an outdoor mall the size of Texas you may NOT want to wear clogs with thin socks. Dogs barking doesn't even really begin to describe it. More like a thundering herd or horde of ravenous and rabid flea bitten canines.
And what do I have to show for the misery? EHHH Not that much. I got the kids lots of clothes, some they'll get for Christmas and some for the trip on Wednesday to Indiana where it's supposed to be a HIGH of 46. Now. That ought to be interesting. We're Southerners. We don't do cold. Our brains may just freeze off and fall out of our heads.
But no toys. See here's the thing. They've kind of outgrown "traditional" toys and have moved on to wanting "grown up, ridiculously expensive toys" like Ipods and flat screen TV's and the like.
Now there's a lot I really appreciate about private schools, but the one thing that I REALLY dislike (with the burning intensity of a thousand suns) is the residual effect that the affluent descendants of Thurston Howell the Third are having on my kids.
ME: "No honey, I'm sorry.
You can not have a flat screen TV for your bedroom.
Why?
Because not only do Mommy and Daddy not have a TV in THEIR bedroom, we don't have one SINGLE flat screen TV in the entire house.
So you might want to check with the bookies in Vegas, but I'm pretty sure your chances of getting a flat screen TV from Santa are between hell freezing over and when dogs fly"
Call me old fashioned, but I am just generally opposed to my children having any high tech, high priced piece of technology that I don't have myself.
And if I don't have it myself, then OBVIOUSLY in my eternal mommy wisdom it is not necessary for THEM to have said item.
Note to those keeping track. This is an extension of the primary directive "If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy"
YEEESHHH
Righty-oh....well I'm off.
I'll blog upon my return from the Hoosier state. Guaranteed.
Funny stories ALWAYS follow my return from the Hoosier state.
I attribute it to the air. Or at the very least...the ground water. Or the in-breeding. Whoops. Did I just SAY that???
Gobble, gobble.
Last Thursday I celebrated 20 years with my firm. Yep. Boggles my mind. They're having a PAHTAY for me this afternoon! The boss gave me some champers last week which I shared with my girlies at my supper swap...WEEHOO! Oh and a parking spot. I'm supposed to get a designated parking spot. SWEET...I can actually DRIVE to some neat places for lunch and not be relegated to the "LOSER" lot offsite!
People are alternately amazed or puzzled. What can I say? I'm a loyal person. You treat me right, I'll work my ass off for you. Obviously they did and I did, so we did and here we are 20 years later.
ON to another topic.
Shopping
Yes, I did that ALL day on Saturday. Let me first recommend that if you are going to be shopping all day at an outdoor mall the size of Texas you may NOT want to wear clogs with thin socks. Dogs barking doesn't even really begin to describe it. More like a thundering herd or horde of ravenous and rabid flea bitten canines.
And what do I have to show for the misery? EHHH Not that much. I got the kids lots of clothes, some they'll get for Christmas and some for the trip on Wednesday to Indiana where it's supposed to be a HIGH of 46. Now. That ought to be interesting. We're Southerners. We don't do cold. Our brains may just freeze off and fall out of our heads.
But no toys. See here's the thing. They've kind of outgrown "traditional" toys and have moved on to wanting "grown up, ridiculously expensive toys" like Ipods and flat screen TV's and the like.
Now there's a lot I really appreciate about private schools, but the one thing that I REALLY dislike (with the burning intensity of a thousand suns) is the residual effect that the affluent descendants of Thurston Howell the Third are having on my kids.
ME: "No honey, I'm sorry.
You can not have a flat screen TV for your bedroom.
Why?
Because not only do Mommy and Daddy not have a TV in THEIR bedroom, we don't have one SINGLE flat screen TV in the entire house.
So you might want to check with the bookies in Vegas, but I'm pretty sure your chances of getting a flat screen TV from Santa are between hell freezing over and when dogs fly"
Call me old fashioned, but I am just generally opposed to my children having any high tech, high priced piece of technology that I don't have myself.
And if I don't have it myself, then OBVIOUSLY in my eternal mommy wisdom it is not necessary for THEM to have said item.
Note to those keeping track. This is an extension of the primary directive "If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy"
YEEESHHH
Righty-oh....well I'm off.
I'll blog upon my return from the Hoosier state. Guaranteed.
Funny stories ALWAYS follow my return from the Hoosier state.
I attribute it to the air. Or at the very least...the ground water. Or the in-breeding. Whoops. Did I just SAY that???
Gobble, gobble.
Friday, November 09, 2007
Random thoughts
Not much here to report peeps. Soo I thought I would enterain you (or me!) with my random observations for the day
1) Why do I like dinner for breakfast? Seriously, metloaf sounds really good right now. Oh wait, it's close to lunch. maybe THAT'S why it sounds good!
2) Teenagers have entirely TOO active social lives these days. Teenage babysitters on the week-end...FOHGETABOUDIT.
3) I am going Christmas shopping. Next week. OY. It boggles my mind.
4) If you were in a supper swap would a crab/artichoke dip in a bread bowl sound like something you would enjoy? It sounds good to me. Maybe I can make THAT for lunch!
5) I need to go to the library and return books. And check out something for myself. My brain cells are atrophying by the second. I'm thinking Social Studies and science test reviews and the endless stream of medical records I have to summarize are not keeping my mind limber. But they are an EXCELLENT alternative to a sleeping pill!
That is all...happy week-end peeps!
1) Why do I like dinner for breakfast? Seriously, metloaf sounds really good right now. Oh wait, it's close to lunch. maybe THAT'S why it sounds good!
2) Teenagers have entirely TOO active social lives these days. Teenage babysitters on the week-end...FOHGETABOUDIT.
3) I am going Christmas shopping. Next week. OY. It boggles my mind.
4) If you were in a supper swap would a crab/artichoke dip in a bread bowl sound like something you would enjoy? It sounds good to me. Maybe I can make THAT for lunch!
5) I need to go to the library and return books. And check out something for myself. My brain cells are atrophying by the second. I'm thinking Social Studies and science test reviews and the endless stream of medical records I have to summarize are not keeping my mind limber. But they are an EXCELLENT alternative to a sleeping pill!
That is all...happy week-end peeps!
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Ten things I love about Co
I have this friend named Co. She posts here. And I "heart" her. Not just because she posts here (HAH) but because once upon a time almost three years ago, we both held our breaths and jumped from the internet to real life.
One of the smartest and best things I've ever done in the friendship arena.
So in honor of her birthday, here's my little tribute to her!
TOP TEN THINGS i LOVE ABOUT CO!
1. You make me laugh. Hard! Remember when I fell off the chair at Mardi Gras? It had ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with the amount of libations ingested. No, seriously don't you remember? You told that joke about the priest, the rabbi and the atheist in a bar??!!
2. You keep it real. No bullshit from this chick. You're the real deal.
3. You make me think. My world view has become so much broader and richer since we met. Thank you for that.
4. You are a rockin good hostess. Never underestimate the power of the "PAHTAY"!
5. You are, as my boys would say, "babalicious" I like to think that the shiny sparkly power of your hotness rubs off onto me by sheer power of association. What? I can dream can't I?
6. You are one of the kindest people I have ever met. Even when keeping it real, you still manage to do it in a way that makes the recipient of the reality check feel ever so good about themselves. I think we should pitch you to the networks for your own self help show because Dr. Phil is grating on my very last nerve.
7. I love how fearless you are. You are like the poster girl for "You only go around once, live it well!"
8. You can rock the written word and the camera like nobody's business.
9. You are unfailingly loyal to those who hold your trust. A rare gift these days.
10. Last, but certainly not least. You are my friend. And that means the world to me.
Happy day of your birth chick. Live it well!
One of the smartest and best things I've ever done in the friendship arena.
So in honor of her birthday, here's my little tribute to her!
TOP TEN THINGS i LOVE ABOUT CO!
1. You make me laugh. Hard! Remember when I fell off the chair at Mardi Gras? It had ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with the amount of libations ingested. No, seriously don't you remember? You told that joke about the priest, the rabbi and the atheist in a bar??!!
2. You keep it real. No bullshit from this chick. You're the real deal.
3. You make me think. My world view has become so much broader and richer since we met. Thank you for that.
4. You are a rockin good hostess. Never underestimate the power of the "PAHTAY"!
5. You are, as my boys would say, "babalicious" I like to think that the shiny sparkly power of your hotness rubs off onto me by sheer power of association. What? I can dream can't I?
6. You are one of the kindest people I have ever met. Even when keeping it real, you still manage to do it in a way that makes the recipient of the reality check feel ever so good about themselves. I think we should pitch you to the networks for your own self help show because Dr. Phil is grating on my very last nerve.
7. I love how fearless you are. You are like the poster girl for "You only go around once, live it well!"
8. You can rock the written word and the camera like nobody's business.
9. You are unfailingly loyal to those who hold your trust. A rare gift these days.
10. Last, but certainly not least. You are my friend. And that means the world to me.
Happy day of your birth chick. Live it well!
Monday, November 05, 2007
The Candy Caper - Part Two
A very enterprising mom (not moi!) came up with a grand scheme to get rid of our unwanted, excess candy!
As of today we have cut our load of candy in half by
1) Giving the non-chocolate items to her to ship to a friend who is serving in Iraq. He shares some of it with his buddies, but the rest they hand out to kids during their patrols. She shipped 60 lbs...the mind boggles!
2) The chocolate went to our neighborhood fire stations. We now have some very happy and hyped up first responders!
My kids still have a respectable stash and have the warm fuzzies that comes from sharing their "wealth"
Happy Monday peeps!
As of today we have cut our load of candy in half by
1) Giving the non-chocolate items to her to ship to a friend who is serving in Iraq. He shares some of it with his buddies, but the rest they hand out to kids during their patrols. She shipped 60 lbs...the mind boggles!
2) The chocolate went to our neighborhood fire stations. We now have some very happy and hyped up first responders!
My kids still have a respectable stash and have the warm fuzzies that comes from sharing their "wealth"
Happy Monday peeps!
Friday, November 02, 2007
The Candy Caper
or "How I lost my candy because I tried to outwit my parents: A Tale in Two Parts"
TALE of the First Part
Halloween has come and gone and all that remains for my little goblins are:
1) Two ghoul masks with the remnants of fake blood drying within their drip chambers
The masks are on the back porch lying on the table. They freak Jake the dog out and the kids are not allowed to wear them around him. Or me for that matter. They freak me out too. But Dad thought they were "cool" so set one to Dad.
2) 15 pounds, yes you read that right!!! FIFTEEN freakin pounds of potential insulin shock, rotting teeth and hyperactivity all packaged in very pretty and colorful wrappings.
The candy is underneath our bed and here is where the REAL story picks up.
So we get home VERY late from trick or treating. We all had a GRAND time. No seriously. The kids walked about 3 miles through every street of our sprawling neighborhood, collected one massive haul of goodies and had a night of plundering with their friends, dubbed "The Boys in Black" because every single one of them wore some ghoulish black get up.
We have found that the oldest will trick or treat as long as he looks "Cool" and not like a "baby"
Did I mention he's 11?
Of course the 9 year old had to follow suit.
Ah the dynamics of sibling rivalry!
But back to the candy.
So we get home, it's too late to sort the loot, we're all wiped out so I told the boys to leave the candy in the trunk and we would go through it when they got home from school.
Everyone falls into bed exhausted.
(fade to black)
TALE of the Second Part
The next morning, the ghouls? I had to blast them out of bed.
Of course we are running late because we overslept.
The boys did manage to beat their dad to the car though and got their bookbags and instruments loaded into the trunk.
I wave them off and then proceed to do what I do every morning, which is to run around and turn off all the lights in the house.
NOW
I had ALREADY been down in the basement once that morning to turn off the table lamps they had left on ALL night long.
(Yes, Hi Georgia Power? Do you have some kind of gizmo that I can attach to the lights in the house, you know something with an audio feature that will PROMPT the turning off of lights? I'm thinking of something along the lines of "HEY we're not made of money here. Turn the lights off or I'm taking away your TV privileges!" No? You don't have ANYTHING like that? Well all I can say is that you are missing a PRIME marketing opportunity! Hello? Hello?)
Sorry, I digressed. You still with me?
anywhoo, I am turning off all the lights and I see that the lights are on in the basement AGAIN!
So...grumble, grumble, stomp, stomp (see I can out teen a teen!) down the steps I go again.
SEQUE TO LUNCH
I get a call form my hubby unit telling me he is at home and has opened the trunk of his car to take the candy out and low and behold the candy, it has disappeared, vanished, without a trace.
DH thinks the kids have stashed it in their bookbags and taken it to school.
I tell him no way they could get away with 15 pounds of candy in their book bags. While the bags are GINORMOUS even they could not hold that AND books.
DH...he is not happy. That sneaky stuff drives him nuts. I tell him he needs to take a chill pill and learn to laugh, because if he doesn't? There will not be enough high blood pressure meds in the world to deal with the teenage years.
SEQUE TO DRIVE TO CARPOOL
LIGHTBULB moment!
That light being on AGAIN in the basement? Those little stinkers took the candy and stashed it in the basement while we were running around upstairs that morning!
So I make a detour home, go downstairs and SURE ENOUGH, there it sits in all it's bulging glory in the closet.
HAH! Set Two to Mommy (for those of you keeping score at home)
Seeing a golden opportunity for some mischief of my own, I take the candy, stash it under my bed and pick up the kids as usual.
The kid get home and of course the FIRST thing they want to do is PLAY in the basement.
HEE!
"Sure guys, you deserve a little downtime now that football season is over. I'll give you an hour!"
Cheers all around as they race to "play"
THEN SILENCE!
BWAHAHAHAHA
"What the? HUH?"
Thundering feet back upstairs.
"Uhmmm, Mom. We have something to tell you. You know our Halloween candy? Well. Uhm. We took it out of the trunk and hid it in the basement because we didn't want DADDY to eat it all! And NOW it's GONE! Do YOU know where it is?"
Serene smile from Mom
Silence
(Game, set and MATCH to Mommy)
MORAL OF THE STORY: Mommy really DOES have eyes in the bak of her head.
THE END
TALE of the First Part
Halloween has come and gone and all that remains for my little goblins are:
1) Two ghoul masks with the remnants of fake blood drying within their drip chambers
The masks are on the back porch lying on the table. They freak Jake the dog out and the kids are not allowed to wear them around him. Or me for that matter. They freak me out too. But Dad thought they were "cool" so set one to Dad.
2) 15 pounds, yes you read that right!!! FIFTEEN freakin pounds of potential insulin shock, rotting teeth and hyperactivity all packaged in very pretty and colorful wrappings.
The candy is underneath our bed and here is where the REAL story picks up.
So we get home VERY late from trick or treating. We all had a GRAND time. No seriously. The kids walked about 3 miles through every street of our sprawling neighborhood, collected one massive haul of goodies and had a night of plundering with their friends, dubbed "The Boys in Black" because every single one of them wore some ghoulish black get up.
We have found that the oldest will trick or treat as long as he looks "Cool" and not like a "baby"
Did I mention he's 11?
Of course the 9 year old had to follow suit.
Ah the dynamics of sibling rivalry!
But back to the candy.
So we get home, it's too late to sort the loot, we're all wiped out so I told the boys to leave the candy in the trunk and we would go through it when they got home from school.
Everyone falls into bed exhausted.
(fade to black)
TALE of the Second Part
The next morning, the ghouls? I had to blast them out of bed.
Of course we are running late because we overslept.
The boys did manage to beat their dad to the car though and got their bookbags and instruments loaded into the trunk.
I wave them off and then proceed to do what I do every morning, which is to run around and turn off all the lights in the house.
NOW
I had ALREADY been down in the basement once that morning to turn off the table lamps they had left on ALL night long.
(Yes, Hi Georgia Power? Do you have some kind of gizmo that I can attach to the lights in the house, you know something with an audio feature that will PROMPT the turning off of lights? I'm thinking of something along the lines of "HEY we're not made of money here. Turn the lights off or I'm taking away your TV privileges!" No? You don't have ANYTHING like that? Well all I can say is that you are missing a PRIME marketing opportunity! Hello? Hello?)
Sorry, I digressed. You still with me?
anywhoo, I am turning off all the lights and I see that the lights are on in the basement AGAIN!
So...grumble, grumble, stomp, stomp (see I can out teen a teen!) down the steps I go again.
SEQUE TO LUNCH
I get a call form my hubby unit telling me he is at home and has opened the trunk of his car to take the candy out and low and behold the candy, it has disappeared, vanished, without a trace.
DH thinks the kids have stashed it in their bookbags and taken it to school.
I tell him no way they could get away with 15 pounds of candy in their book bags. While the bags are GINORMOUS even they could not hold that AND books.
DH...he is not happy. That sneaky stuff drives him nuts. I tell him he needs to take a chill pill and learn to laugh, because if he doesn't? There will not be enough high blood pressure meds in the world to deal with the teenage years.
SEQUE TO DRIVE TO CARPOOL
LIGHTBULB moment!
That light being on AGAIN in the basement? Those little stinkers took the candy and stashed it in the basement while we were running around upstairs that morning!
So I make a detour home, go downstairs and SURE ENOUGH, there it sits in all it's bulging glory in the closet.
HAH! Set Two to Mommy (for those of you keeping score at home)
Seeing a golden opportunity for some mischief of my own, I take the candy, stash it under my bed and pick up the kids as usual.
The kid get home and of course the FIRST thing they want to do is PLAY in the basement.
HEE!
"Sure guys, you deserve a little downtime now that football season is over. I'll give you an hour!"
Cheers all around as they race to "play"
THEN SILENCE!
BWAHAHAHAHA
"What the? HUH?"
Thundering feet back upstairs.
"Uhmmm, Mom. We have something to tell you. You know our Halloween candy? Well. Uhm. We took it out of the trunk and hid it in the basement because we didn't want DADDY to eat it all! And NOW it's GONE! Do YOU know where it is?"
Serene smile from Mom
Silence
(Game, set and MATCH to Mommy)
MORAL OF THE STORY: Mommy really DOES have eyes in the bak of her head.
THE END
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