When your best isin't good enough

There was this girl with a tight circle of friends.

Or at least she thought the circle was tight.

Then one of the circle got divorced.

This wasn't so hard because the ex was a verbally abusive asshole who inflicted pain and discord everywhere he went.

So the circle survived and moved on.

Then another friend got divorced.

This time it was different. There were no clear cut bad guys/girls. It was just sad. Two people who got married, had three kids and finally came to terms with the reality that others had seen for years, that they should have stayed friends, nothing more.

So it begins. Who "wins" which friends in the split.

So now I move from the third person narrative to the first person...cause I'm getting down to the raw and personal place where it really hurts.

I like the wife. She's funny and smart and creative and a little reserved and I like her a lot.

I send numerous emails, make many phone calls to her, trying to include her in activities with the group. No response.

Except.

I don't invite her to one event. And now she doesn't want anything to do with me.

My rule has been to invite the spouse without the kids on week-end social events and I've tried to be respectful of the fact that they don't want to be in the same room together. That one no invite is what landed me on her shit list.

I'm not writing this because I feel I need any reassurance or censure.

I write it just because I feel sad.

Sad that she doesn't want anything to do with me. Sad that I miss her wit and intelligence. Sad that she never called me back. Just sad.

Could I have done something different? Yes. Would it have changed things? Probably not.

It doesn't matter. I still mourn the loss of what was and what could have been.