I am back from the memorial service for the mom of Thumper's good friend.
We were fellow Aquarians (yes I am a total nut job and think that kind of stuff has MEANING) Our sons were born just a month apart. I could be her. She could be me.
I cried. I laughed. All the thing you should do at a memorial service.
It was beautiful by the way. There were so many people who came that they had to move the service from the small chapel to the main sanctuary. The sanctuary of the largest Presbyterian church in the whole freaking free world mind you. No seriously. this church....it is it's own CITY!
And I realized looking around me that there can be no greater testimony to a life well lived and loved than to have it filled with people who will take time out of their busy holiday/workday schedule and spend an hour giving thanks for a beautiful soul.
And so I sit in my house that STILL has fall decorations up and only a naked tree in it's water filled stand and I am at peace.
Now gentle readers....that is a HUGE statement from the lips of my former Type A, perfectionist self of years past.
Me of the Christmas cards in the mail the day after Thanksgiving
Me of the homemade gingerbread house in all it's mammoth glory
Me of the two trees and a house decorated to the nines by the first week-end in December.
The me of today is content and at peace. Just to be. And the ornamentation and deorations and time tables and schedules. And do's and not do's be damned.
I'd rather feast on FUNdue tonight in front of my naked tree watching Johnny Depp ET AL in POCIII with my family than stress about the details.
The big picture is far more satisfying...savvy?
2 comments:
You've made me rethink my Friday evening. I was stressing over the tree (we don't even have ours yet)and a million other things things and not considering that I have my family in the other room, relaxing and enjoying the evening, getting ready to watch a movie.
Not anymore.
Love you.
having recently thought i had something wrong with me....and being scared.....i can so relate to just enjoy....don't stress. in fact, my galblog post on wednesday will be about this very subject.
i am so so sorry for hte loss of your son's mother. glad the service was nice. that is at least some consolation.
i, like you, fear something happening to me. or to james. leaving my children without one of us. i fear something happening to my kids too. so i just try not to think about it because i really just don't know what else to do.
big hug to you....you need it. been through a lot. if we lived close, i would tell you to pull up a chair, get you a drink and we could just be. take care of you, okay?
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