@#$%^%$#@ Crickets

I have two boys.

Which means, by default, I also have a revolving door of various and assundry alive and semi alive creatures rotating through the halls of my abode at any given moment.

This week people for your reading and snorting "thank god I don't have YOUR kids pleasure" ...I bring you live from Hotlanta the creepy crawly, crunchy CRICKETS!!!

Why crickets? Why indeed? Why the #$@% do I get myself into these messes? Why?? Because I am a freaking sucker for anything that still has a breath of life coursing through its teeny tiny endosketelon....THAT'S why.

And of course all bets are off and the bookies are greedily counting their gains when said messes involve my best beloveds...aka BamBam and Thumper.

Sigh.

According to the really nice guy at the local PetSmart...which by the way should really just be called the StupidHuman Store because I'm all about truth in advertsing. Well according to HIM...the absolute minimum that I ABSOLUTELY MUST have is:

Two dozen crickets for a month($1.50) and cricket dust($3.99)and a cricket keeper($6.99) and one half of a potato every other day (15 cents times ???)

FOR THE FREAKING FLAME BELLIED TOAD that BamBam brought home from his 4th grade terrarium group experiement. Did I BUY the toad...no, NO I did not. That would be the harebrained scheme of some other demented mother, whose name I shall get at the cocktail party tomorrow. Did I agree to foster said TOAD...yes. That's why.

(Note to self. SELF. Step One: Check cell phone call screen before answering. Step Two: Do not answer if number is from school. Step Three: Defer to DH. If DH calls immediately after? Refer to step one.)

Just the thought of having to go to StupidHuman every month for crickets makes my skin crawl.

And if that wasn't bad enough I just about flippin suffocated the first three random lottery victims in their cricket dust (aka vitamins for the toad) before tossing them into the terrarium to face the Gene Simmons Tongue of Death.

GAH

next post?

Warts? Folk Cure or Modern Medical Science...you be the judge.